Easter Sunday

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c(”)(”)  Happy Easter!! Easter has been.. quiet.. completely quiet..
My family is in Disney.. and I'm at home. Just Ginger and I. My biological brother's mom (E) is in Orlando with her family and and my mom, dad, sister, and her boyfriend went up there.. I'm saving money, and appreciated the time I had alone at home.. at least for a few hours.. now I'm completely bored. I'm tired of watching movies/studying. And to top it off its a muggy day out. I'm hoping to be able to go up and *finally* meet them sometime later this week.

So I'm wishing ya'll a Happy Easter!! I hope the Easter bunny brought some good candy. lol.

In the midst of confusion:

I've found my peace and happiness.

Though I have felt like the past few weeks have taken a toll emotionally and physically... I can honestly say that I am happy the way things have worked themselves out.
At the time when I thought that "what could go wrong would" I am now able to  realize that it all needed to happen so that I was able to move on in my life and find true happiness.
Everyday is a learning process, and I thank God for every day he allows me to be on this earth. I have big plans for the next few months and major life changes are bound to happen soon..
There is a possible 1100 mi move, school, work, family, friends, and of course more personal growth. Notice there is no "love life" involved in that section. I'm not worried about it. Relationships just cause issues, and with how hectic things have been I truly have no time. I appreciate my friends for kickin' my butt into gear with a lot of things and helping me fight a depression that I was in denial of. When life felt like it was spiraling out of control, they were there for me. To help keep me sane and to help guide me. I have taken a lot of opinions, and advice over the past few weeks. After I let my anger, frustration, and hurt get the best of me I had my eyes opened to the truth of what has been going on, and finally am able to make decisions for me.
My birthday is coming up so fast... May 2nd.. I'll be 21 this year, and I was looking forward to it. Now I think I won't even have time for my birthday. I honestly have a feeling it will be reminiscent of the past few years... just me. I guess I'm going to get myself a bottle of vodka, or a bottle of wine, and celebrate. What's going to be interesting is to see the answers I come up with for my homework. ;)
I can't wait until all the work I've been doing finally pays off.. That we will see in a few months. It's going to be an interesting ride, but it's going to be fun. We only live once right? SO why just sit around waiting for life, go out & enjoy.
So to conclude:: In the midst of confusion, I've found my peace and happiness<3

C'est la vie

{>.<}

Study, Study, Study.. That's all I feel like I'm doing lately... Can't wait for it to be over so that way my brain can stop melting and leaking out of my ears....

Changes.

   Changes happen all the time, everywhere around us. This week I have had the most change I have had happen to me directly in a long time. I basically kicked 2 "friends" out of my life, and had others choose to walk out.

   The "friends" that I kicked out were holding me back. One that I have known for almost 3 years, and just was doing more harm in my life than good. I can honestly say that I'll miss him, but I have a hate for him that I have never felt before. I know its strange saying that you hate/will miss someone, but thats just the feelings I have. He would tell me things, that now I know were all lies. I learned so much about him, and should have let him go a long time ago. I know that down the road I will get over the hate/miss about him. I am praying that I don't hear from him ever again. I made sure he knew that I wanted nothing to do with him, but he has never respected that in the past.

   The 2nd friend that I kicked out, was just over controlling and obsessive. I couldn't take it anymore. I just got fed up and deleted/blocked him on FB, and said goodbye. Everything was ok, until he and I broke up the last time, and everything just went south. But I am happy that chapter has closed, and I wish him the best and I hope he finds someone who will deal with what he provides.
   The friend whom walked out.. Now this is a tricky one.. I can honestly say I have no clue why. She and I have been friends for 6 years, and yea of course we had our ups and downs, but as far as I knew we were good. Then one day I sign on to FB and go to say hey to her, and she is no longer a friend of mine, the next day I'm blocked. Um.Ok. It was really strange to me, because the night before (If I remember correctly) she called me at 1 am to tell me that it just took her a 1/2 hour to kill a spider. No where in our conversation was there any fighting or disagreements. Maybe I missed something. Who knows... I don't because she no longer speaks to me. Anyways.. This is what she chose, so be it. 

   So I'm accepting change, as best as I can. I have never been accepting to major change in my life. Heck cutting my hair causes some form of anxiety. When it comes to major changes such as "gaining/losing" friends, frustrates me. I accept that type of change better when I know the truth and the whole truth, without that I remain frustrated. I'm working on learning to let go and move on, which is hard, but day by day I  learn. About the current losing friends situation, I'm bettering my life with or without certain people in my life.You win some you lose some. 

C'est la vie

no subject.

Anyone else want to leave? Pack your bags and get out of my life. I can't take anymore.