I miss my ex VN. I met him when he came to my families home and switched our washing machine. Cute Huh. He was so sweet, and so cute, and thought I was beautiful (even in my pj's with no makeup and my hair a mess). I gave him my number before he left, and we talked constantly. Then again, this is a guy who hurt me.. who broke my heart into a million pieces, and I still missed him, and wanted him back. I see his picture, and think of the good times. Yea he lied to me, and told me he was single, and had 1 kid.. then 2.. then I find out he's married with a 3rd on the way. Then I got a message from (my now friend) CB.
MESSAGE BELOW:
"Me 2 i wished i had never met VN. Hes a lieing,cheating player. Heres the truth bout me, ( cause he will never tell u the truth) i met him on a website called ******.com back n 2/**. We have been off & on durin this time til i had enough of the lies. 11/3 - 12/14 i had not called or text him. Trying 2 4 get bout him. But on 12/14 he climbed over the gate @ my place 2 tell me he had been thinkin bout me & wanted 2 come c me. & like a fool i let him back n my life (& of course we had sex) he has lied 2 me bout so many things. His daughter M. He told me that she was his wife's biological child. Not his. y would someone lie bout their child not being theres? & he would tell me that i was his girl & i would say ur my man. Huh more lies! 2 days ago he said that he didnt want me 2 sleep with anyone else, i told him not 2 sleep with anyone also. Then i find out bout u. Another lie! Honestly i dont think he knows how 2 tell the truth. We had sex 12/21 & its the last time ever!! I hate what he did"
Then CB and I started hanging out before I confronted him.. I wanted the full story. In my heart I thought I loved him, and I wanted to believe him. My head told me differently. He knew I had this message from CB, but he asked me to not contact her, and just let him handle it. I couldn't there was something, whether it be my gut, or my head taking over, I needed to know what was going on. There were too many specifics, that reminded me of VN and I. One night I texted him, saying that I needed to talk to him.When he called me, I wouldn't answer, I didn't know how to answer. I'd say after about, if I remember correctly.. 13-15 times of him calling I answered. I tried to stay calm, and keep my voice from shaking, and to keep from bursting into tears. After a few words of regularity, how are you, yada yada yada.. CB and I got into it. We were on the phone for 3 hours wanting answers. We never really got any answers, he just said that he was trying to figure out how to end it all. He hurt us. Badly. Everything after that was fuzzy. I just remember missing him, and trying to make sense of it all.
I got a message from him in April:::
MESSAGE BELOW:
I texted him, and ended up talking to him, and meeting up with him. I got sucked back in I guess. I felt like I got close to him again, and I thought he changed. I thought my heart wouldn't get sucked back in, but it did. I thought If I'd just kept my heart out of it, and just deal with my head figuring everything out.. Didn't work. Then after a while of hanging out with him, and thinking we were on the right track, he brought up potentially moving in together. Then not too long after that he told me that he wanted to try dating this girl that worked with him, CN. My heart broke, once again.
Why do I miss him. I have no clue. If anyone can come up with a logical explanation. I'd be happy to listen. Tonight just seemed really hard, I feel like I constantly thought of him. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, but I'm not sure. I felt like I was so close to him, and yet everytime we got too close, everything got ruined. Everyday i pray that he calls, and doesn't call. Like I said in previous posts, my heart is so confused. Now you see why. I think I miss the theory of him.
I hate this feeling, it needs to jump off a cliff and be eaten by coyotes!!!
<3 Katie
I got a message from him in April:::
MESSAGE BELOW:
"863*******, i am still off monday and tuesdays.......... if u want to talk one on one just let me know and we can find a place to be alone so we can talk... thins with the wifey ended along time ago, she still living in ny an there is no chance of getting back together.... i been just working and i didnt find god but i did find myself and i feel good...i am still living with my sister all i do is go to work and stay home, i dont even go out anymore.. i miss u...."
I texted him, and ended up talking to him, and meeting up with him. I got sucked back in I guess. I felt like I got close to him again, and I thought he changed. I thought my heart wouldn't get sucked back in, but it did. I thought If I'd just kept my heart out of it, and just deal with my head figuring everything out.. Didn't work. Then after a while of hanging out with him, and thinking we were on the right track, he brought up potentially moving in together. Then not too long after that he told me that he wanted to try dating this girl that worked with him, CN. My heart broke, once again.
Why do I miss him. I have no clue. If anyone can come up with a logical explanation. I'd be happy to listen. Tonight just seemed really hard, I feel like I constantly thought of him. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, but I'm not sure. I felt like I was so close to him, and yet everytime we got too close, everything got ruined. Everyday i pray that he calls, and doesn't call. Like I said in previous posts, my heart is so confused. Now you see why. I think I miss the theory of him.
I hate this feeling, it needs to jump off a cliff and be eaten by coyotes!!!
<3 Katie
