Perfection Doesn't Exist (warning: Negitivity ahead)

I must warn in advance, this blog is full of negativity and anger. If you don't think you can handle it/get offended by what I post, then go find something else to read, because I'm in a IDGAF mood. Alrighty then, On with the frustration:

Who ever thinks that perfection does exist is in complete denial that there is anything wrong.

The perfect man/woman does not exist.
The perfect relationship does not exist.
The perfect marriage does not exist.
The perfect child does not exist.
The perfect job does not exist.
The perfect house does not exist.
The perfect life does not exist.
The perfect family does not exist.
The perfect friends does not exist.
No one is perfect.
The perfect (insert object, thing, w/e here) does not exist.

Are you getting the point? Good. Now I can elaborate. I used to think I want this perfect life, that all was going to set in place and that was that I would live happily ever after.

Happily Ever After also does not exist. (oops didn't care enough forgot to add that to the list). There are no "prince charming"s. So no I will not sit around waiting for my knight in shining armor to show up, Never have, Never will.

Everyone has their flaws, and I'm the type of person who quickly overlooks those flaws, but I seem to get trampled on because of that. People have told me that that's a good thing to do and its rare to find a person who does that. I do admit (I'd be a damn hypocrite if I don't say) I have a very short term judging, as in I may judge someone by the way they look. I have it happen to me all the time because of my weight (I'm 5ft and carrying extra weight, duh its gonna make me look heavier than I am.) and because of my height and probably for more but what ever. Back to the point. Yes I'll judge, but I wont use it against you. I try my best to get to know a person for whom they are rather than how they look, Like I said NO ONE is perfect.

I give up on friends. Forget them. All they cause is drama. I don't need anyone of them. I feel unimportant to everyone anyways. You call me your friend, yet you call when you want something. You call when you need a shoulder to lean on. You call when you want/need someone to hang out with. You call when you think you have to.. That's not a friendship. A friendship has no secrets, at least thats what I thought.. then come to find out a friendship is 90% truth, 10% secrecy. Who knew? I sure didn't. Wish I did. Oh well. How can you call a person your friend when you hide secrets from the other? I did my best to give the best advice I knew, I did my best to be a friend to the best of my abilities, and come to find out you were keeping secrets from me. Thank you for putting our friendship into perspective, because now exactly what I am to you: Nothing. That is not a friendship. I don't know what planet you grew up on, or where you learned that. I learned that you have to be honest, and trust, and have good communication. I have tried to be honest with all of my friends, but I know now.

Moving is inevitable. Orlando, MO, IL, or WI. I havent decided yet, but only have a short time to do decide. Sebring will be one family less in a few months. Then my family will be one(2) members short in that same time period. I feel that I will have the best opportunities in MO. I'm nervous about it all, but I have to do it.  I have to make the right choice because it doesnt just affect me anymore. It affects Ginger and I. Sebring is driving me crazy, Florida itself hasn't been good on me, or my family. Yes I'm willing to give up remaining friends here, because my true friends will remain in contact with me. I'm just so ready to leave already, and yes I'm being impatient.

I need a drink.. Oh that's right I'm 21.. I can have a drink and not have to hide it :)
Vodka and Cranberry anyone?
Vodka and Pineapple?
Rum 'n Coke?

Yum<3

I hope everyone has a wonderful week, and had a happy weekend/Mother's Day. Til my next blog folks and remember:

C'est La Vie

Ah.. So I'm officially 21.. as of May 2nd. I don't feel any different, maybe a little; such as I can now have a drink to relax and not worry about it being illegal or hiding it from my family. ;-)
So much is going to happen over the next couple of days/weeks. I'm so excited! I have an interview on Thursday for a company that I have so many opportunities with. I'll be able to move up in the company, travel the world, and help so many people be happy! Those are the best, but what else are the benefits!! I am praying everything goes well, and so far since I put in my application nothing but good things are happening.
I'm sure I'll post something after the interview. I've had since Monday to plan what I'm going to wear, and some of my answers along with do some research on the company; but I have personal experience with this company already so I just feel excited and not so nervous.

Well TTFN bloggers
<3 Moi

Easter Sunday

(\ /)
( . .)
c(”)(”)  Happy Easter!! Easter has been.. quiet.. completely quiet..
My family is in Disney.. and I'm at home. Just Ginger and I. My biological brother's mom (E) is in Orlando with her family and and my mom, dad, sister, and her boyfriend went up there.. I'm saving money, and appreciated the time I had alone at home.. at least for a few hours.. now I'm completely bored. I'm tired of watching movies/studying. And to top it off its a muggy day out. I'm hoping to be able to go up and *finally* meet them sometime later this week.

So I'm wishing ya'll a Happy Easter!! I hope the Easter bunny brought some good candy. lol.

In the midst of confusion:

I've found my peace and happiness.

Though I have felt like the past few weeks have taken a toll emotionally and physically... I can honestly say that I am happy the way things have worked themselves out.
At the time when I thought that "what could go wrong would" I am now able to  realize that it all needed to happen so that I was able to move on in my life and find true happiness.
Everyday is a learning process, and I thank God for every day he allows me to be on this earth. I have big plans for the next few months and major life changes are bound to happen soon..
There is a possible 1100 mi move, school, work, family, friends, and of course more personal growth. Notice there is no "love life" involved in that section. I'm not worried about it. Relationships just cause issues, and with how hectic things have been I truly have no time. I appreciate my friends for kickin' my butt into gear with a lot of things and helping me fight a depression that I was in denial of. When life felt like it was spiraling out of control, they were there for me. To help keep me sane and to help guide me. I have taken a lot of opinions, and advice over the past few weeks. After I let my anger, frustration, and hurt get the best of me I had my eyes opened to the truth of what has been going on, and finally am able to make decisions for me.
My birthday is coming up so fast... May 2nd.. I'll be 21 this year, and I was looking forward to it. Now I think I won't even have time for my birthday. I honestly have a feeling it will be reminiscent of the past few years... just me. I guess I'm going to get myself a bottle of vodka, or a bottle of wine, and celebrate. What's going to be interesting is to see the answers I come up with for my homework. ;)
I can't wait until all the work I've been doing finally pays off.. That we will see in a few months. It's going to be an interesting ride, but it's going to be fun. We only live once right? SO why just sit around waiting for life, go out & enjoy.
So to conclude:: In the midst of confusion, I've found my peace and happiness<3

C'est la vie

{>.<}

Study, Study, Study.. That's all I feel like I'm doing lately... Can't wait for it to be over so that way my brain can stop melting and leaking out of my ears....

Changes.

   Changes happen all the time, everywhere around us. This week I have had the most change I have had happen to me directly in a long time. I basically kicked 2 "friends" out of my life, and had others choose to walk out.

   The "friends" that I kicked out were holding me back. One that I have known for almost 3 years, and just was doing more harm in my life than good. I can honestly say that I'll miss him, but I have a hate for him that I have never felt before. I know its strange saying that you hate/will miss someone, but thats just the feelings I have. He would tell me things, that now I know were all lies. I learned so much about him, and should have let him go a long time ago. I know that down the road I will get over the hate/miss about him. I am praying that I don't hear from him ever again. I made sure he knew that I wanted nothing to do with him, but he has never respected that in the past.

   The 2nd friend that I kicked out, was just over controlling and obsessive. I couldn't take it anymore. I just got fed up and deleted/blocked him on FB, and said goodbye. Everything was ok, until he and I broke up the last time, and everything just went south. But I am happy that chapter has closed, and I wish him the best and I hope he finds someone who will deal with what he provides.
   The friend whom walked out.. Now this is a tricky one.. I can honestly say I have no clue why. She and I have been friends for 6 years, and yea of course we had our ups and downs, but as far as I knew we were good. Then one day I sign on to FB and go to say hey to her, and she is no longer a friend of mine, the next day I'm blocked. Um.Ok. It was really strange to me, because the night before (If I remember correctly) she called me at 1 am to tell me that it just took her a 1/2 hour to kill a spider. No where in our conversation was there any fighting or disagreements. Maybe I missed something. Who knows... I don't because she no longer speaks to me. Anyways.. This is what she chose, so be it. 

   So I'm accepting change, as best as I can. I have never been accepting to major change in my life. Heck cutting my hair causes some form of anxiety. When it comes to major changes such as "gaining/losing" friends, frustrates me. I accept that type of change better when I know the truth and the whole truth, without that I remain frustrated. I'm working on learning to let go and move on, which is hard, but day by day I  learn. About the current losing friends situation, I'm bettering my life with or without certain people in my life.You win some you lose some. 

C'est la vie

no subject.

Anyone else want to leave? Pack your bags and get out of my life. I can't take anymore.